Chicks are crazy. I’m not afraid to admit it. We all have a little crazy in us. Some most definitely more than others but its always there, lurking under our cool and collected exteriors.

I was chatting with a friend the other day about her latest crush. Next thing you know we have spent a good 30 minutes analyzing everything he said and did in the last 48 hours. He said this, do you think that means he likes me? Or is he just saying that because he thinks that I think that he thinks… etc etc. You all know exactly what I am talking about. He scratched his left butt cheek then yawned. Certainly that means he’s in love with you…

Then I caught myself and said, “Friend, listen to us. We is crazy. We just spent the last 30 minutes analyzing whether the fact that this dude handed you a napkin means he wants to have babies with you.”

I am actually kind of proud of the fact that I recognized the crazy and halted it.

Awareness is the first step to saneness.

The fact of the matter is, if a guy likes you, you will know. Stop making things up. Stop making excuses for them. Stop analyzing everything they do so you can twist it into a reason for why they haven’t revealed their undying love for you. Its just not healthy. Find someone that does make it clear how they feel about you. Or, just cool your jets for a bit and let things happen.

As for all the other crazy stuff we women do. I can’t really comment on that. It’s just hardwired. Like migration and hibernation.

If you don’t want us anymore, we want you more. If you chase us, we’re not interested. If you say the wrong thing at the right time of the month, we’ll take your head off. Essentially, your damned if you do damned if you don’t. Its not a matter of finding a woman who isn’t crazy. I assure you, this mythical woman does not exist. You just need to decide how much and what kind of crazy you are willing to accept. Men operate on a dousche spectrum. They all have a little bit in there. Women operate on a crazy spectrum. Unfortunately, there aren’t crazy beacons, so it’s not as easy to identify what the crazy factor is when you first meet someone. In fact, the most crazy ones often seem like the most sane at first. They are masters at the art of the crazy cover up and then they will unleash the crazy when you least expect it.

Just sayin.

Speaking of crazy people I saw this guy on 6th street the other day. He was marching down the sidewalk with garbage on a stick, like he was trying to gather a following and lead some sort of march. Reminded me of that guy we saw at ACL a few years ago. At ACL, everybody brings flagpoles with various things hanging from them so they can find their friends. One dude just grabbed a giant tree branch and hung a bunch of trash from it. Clever.

But this guy is not at ACL. Nor does he have a bunch of people following him. Maybe he wasn’t trying to get people to follow him. Maybe he’s like the Pied Piper of Austin. Maybe he was luring the ants from my apartment. They are gone. I think the caulk blocking must have worked…

Garbage on a Stick

Off to have a ladies night. That’s when we let all the crazy hang out.