The Singing Bee is THE WORST SHOW EVER to be broadcast on television.

I swear that this whole writers’ strike is really just a plot by the cable company to get me to pay for viewing pleasure beyond what my rabbit ears capture from atop my 1996 television, even though I spend a total of 5 nights a month actually staying at my apartment. How can I live in a world that cancels Arrested Development after 3 seasons and allows this shit to pollute the innocent viewing public?

So tomorrow morning I am off to Port Clinton, Ohio for the world famous New Year’s Eve Walleye Drop. Home of Wylie Walleye, every one’s favorite giant papier mache fish. Strung up by crane to a towering height of, I would guess, about 20 ft, so he can slowly be lowered upon the townspeople as they count down from 10 to the new year. Goofy? Yes. Anti-climatic? Well, yes. Fun? Oh hell yes! If you are one of those people that prefers the bit out of the ordinary …likes to seek out traditions, funness, adventures of a different breed. …loves to be around small town folk when they have had a few too many, then the Walleye Drop is just for you. For those who think I jest, or want to look for me on the live Web cam at the evening’s festivities –

Personally, I think it is hugely preferred to standing in Times Square amongst millions of drunk people peeing on themselves. Actually, its also hugely preferred to paying obscene $$ to be at a bar or club or anywhere, where you wish the annoying people would just go piss on themselves.

We all say it (in whiny voice)- “New Year’s Eve is overrated. Always the biggest let down ever. Huge build-up. Never fun.” Yet we continue to plan for it year after year like this time around somehow the $475 for 2 drinks, a reserved table, and a crap DJ will all be worth it for the ‘magical experience’.

I like papier mache. Sounds like a perfect project for when I return.