1. I talked to the first cute boy in ages, only to find out my straw was hanging from my hair due to sticky lipgloss residue that caused it to be snatched right out of my vodka soda.
2. HP and I sought advice from two policemen on where to meet single men in town, only to find out even public servants find us pathetic.
3. We signed up for the AT&T half marathon, only to find out we hate running.
4. I briefly dated an auto mechanic, only to find out he was so lazy he didn’t offer to get his ass off the couch and come help when I had two flat tires.
5. I moved away from the building 3 motley crew and took up residence downtown, only to find out that my favorite bar did not move with me.
6. I tried to be healthy and take vitamins, only to find out I was slowly poisoning myself with toxic levels of Vitamin A. (Feck being healthy)
7. The fecking trail of lights came to town.
10. I rode in the weinermobile.

That about sums it up. Glad to be back.